Catelynn Lowell BaltierraandTyler Baltierraare opening up about a difficult roadblock in their adoption journey.
The couple struggles in the latest episode ofTeen Mom: The Next Chapter, as they discuss Carly’s parents pulling away and cutting off access to her. Catelynn and Tyler sending occasional gifts to their daughter, whom they placed for adoption in 2009, was deemed “out of control and inappropriate.”
Catelynn explained to producers that they send updates every few weeks on what’s going on with daughtersRya, 3½,Vaeda, who turns 6 this month, andNovalee, 10. Tyler notes that many of the messages appear to never have been delivered.
The couple realizes that Carly’s parents have blocked Catelynn. Tyler suggests they talk to their longtime adoption counselor, Dawn, about how to navigate this. Frustrated, he laments, “You’re closing the open adoption with no explanation as to why.”
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When they meet Dawn for a catch-up, Catelynn says, “This has brought up so much PTSD. I feel like I’m going through it all over again.”
“On the street corner, all over again,” Tyler says.
“Not that contact has been cut off and I’ve been blocked, it does feel like you’re putting a fine line in the sand of, ‘No more.’ "
Tyler asks to clarify the difference between open and semi-open. “Simply face-to-face contact,” Dawn says and Tyler confirms their arrangement has been open for, at the time of filming, over 14 years.
“And now it’s closed because there’s no sending anything, We’re blocked,” Tyler says, adding, “Blocking is something children do, in my opinion.”
“Or could it be that if their opinion is different than yours and they’ve asked for space and they’ve asked for things to chill and it hasn’t happened, then is it the only alternative that they can see? And again, you guys have to own the fact that you have a lot of power. You have a ton of power.”
“I have no power,” Tyler asserts.
Dawn points to their discussion of these issues on social media and how it leads “people to make up their own narrative.”
“A lot of hurt happens when we live our lives out on social media,” Dawn points out.
“If it’s coming out of Carly that she doesn’t want it, Ty and I have discussed it. 100%, we would step back and stop everything. We’d say, ‘We’re here whenever you want it,’ " Catelynn says, to which Dawn asks, “Is it fair to put that kind of pressure on a young teenager?”
“We’re putting it on her mother, to advocate for her,” Catelynn counters. “To advocate for her protection,” adds Tyler.
“If it’s coming out of Brandon and Theresa, whether it be fear or insecurity that she’s getting older and they’re not wanting contact, I will not stop reaching out. I will not stop sending her gifts. I will not do it, Dawn. I will not,” Catelynn levels.
“You’ve invested a lot into the relationship that Carly is going to remember,” Dawn says. “She can see the efforts but also she’s in a really difficult position in the middle of the tug of war.”
Tyler and Catelynn ask about how to lessen the impacts on Carly and if stepping away is their only option. Dawn acknowledges it’s “another level of loss,” to which Catelynn cries that it’s not fair.
“Is loss ever fair?” Dawn poses. “It isn’t. It’s not fair. You’re right.”
Catelynn cries and says she feels like Carly’s parents don’t understand. “You’ve never had to give a child to somebody and live with that for the rest of your life. You know what I mean? It’s just not fair.”
The three agree it’s in everyone best interest to “take a pause” on the relationship and focus on being healthy.
“For me, I’m taking a pause until initiation happens [that’s] not from me,” Tyler concludes.
source: people.com
