Warning: The following story, about a family’s heartbreak in the aftermath of suicide, may contain triggering topics. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go tosuicidepreventionlifeline.org.
Miss USA 2019 Cheslie Kryst’s parents are opening up about the “grief and gratitude” they’ve felt since her death, in the hopes that their story can help other families.
“I never thought I would be here. She truly was my best friend,” Simpkins told co-hostsJada Pinkett Smith,Willow SmithandAdrienne Banfield-Norris.
On the morning of Kryst’s death, Simpkins was leaving her weekly exercise class when she “noticed there was a text message” from her daughter, she said on the program.
“It took me a while to read that all the way through,” Simpkins shared of the lengthy note, which described the severity of Kryst’s depression.
“I would read some sentences and then I would just collapse,” she added.
According to Simpkins, her daughter had “attempted suicide before,” and had then “began taking all the right steps” to improve hermental health.
“She began seeing a counselor. She was getting good sleep at night. She knew all the things to do,” Simpkins said.
April Simpkins (L); Cheslie Kryst.Red Table Talk/Facebook, Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty
But based on the content of her daughter’s text message that morning, Simpkins knew she had to take action. When she returned home from her exercise class, the concerned mother and her husband David reached out to the police in New York, where Cheslie lived, Simpkins said onRed Table Talk.
“Immediately, I’m thinking, okay, this must be like the first [suicide] attempt,” she recalled. “Let’s get on a plane, get up there, meet her at the hospital, let’s see what we can do.”
While their plane was preparing for take off, the parents received a call from the police and learned that Kryst “was no longer with us,” Simpkins said.
“I don’t remember the plane ride. I remember hearing my husband sobbing,” she added.
After arriving in New York, Simpkins called up her closest friend but “couldn’t even say the words,” she explained onRed Table Talk.
“David and I didn’t know what to do,” she continued. “We went outside to get some fresh air. I remember just sobbing on the sidewalk, I just couldn’t move my body anymore.”
RELATED VIDEO: Miss USA 2019 Cheslie Kryst Dies at 30: “She Laughed and She Shined,” Says Family
Once back home, Simpkins found it was difficult to manage her own grief while also being there for her other children — two of whom are still teenagers.
“Cheslie and her older siblings were very close,” Simpkins said on the show. “Last year they were all together and each of them had a gold bracelet that was kind of sealed on their wrists to represent their bond. They grieve differently for Cheslie than our younger two.”
“By the time they were born, Cheslie was out of the house. She was a favorite, because she would come visit, but the bond wasn’t the same,” added Simpkins, who said the family is seeking help together.
Simpkins, who said that being able to talk about her daughter is “healing,” noted that she hopes opening up will “hopefully encourage people to be kinder.”
“She laughed a laugh that was infectious. When something made her really smile, from the gut, her laugh came out,” Simpkins added of her daughter. “She had that, but it did not remove the depression.”
April and David Simpkins.Red Table Talk
As the conversation came to a close, Cheslie’s stepfather — who has been a part of her life since she was 12 — shared his biggest fear: that his memory of her would fade over time.
“I think every parent, you have these thoughts sometimes or this fear or losing your child. I think it’s just part of the deal,” he said. “The here and now is tough but it’s just this thought, ‘Am I not going to remember her 10 years from now like I remember her now? Are my memories going to fade?’ And that is one of the toughest things to think about.”
“I’m so glad that she loved the camera because we got plenty of videos, plenty of pictures,” he added. “It’s hard balancing the grief and the gratitude. I think I’m more on the grief side of the seesaw right now, but I’m so grateful that I got to be part of her life, and she got to be part of mine.”
Cheslie Kryst.John Lamparski/Getty Images
“Cheslie embodied love and served others, whether through her work as an attorney fighting for social justice, as Miss USA and as a host onExtra. But most importantly, as a daughter, sister, friend, mentor and colleague — we know her impact will live on,” they wrote.
If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go tosuicidepreventionlifeline.org.
source: people.com
