Photo: Cheyenne Jackson/Instagram

Cheyenne Jackson says he fell off the wagon after 10 years of sobriety

Cheyenne Jacksonreveals he has relapsed after 10 years of sobriety.

On Monday, the 47-year-old actor and dad of twins, who has been transparent about his past alcohol addiction, shared a candid post onInstagramdetailing the “shame” he feels after his relapse.

“VULNERABLE is what I’m feeling today,” the Broadway vet andAmerican Horror Storystar began. “After nearly a decade of sobriety I fell off the wagon. I’ve been carrying a lot of shame. Scared to share it. But I know it can help someone so here I go.”

“I didn’t want to disappoint anyone who has looked up to me as a sober person so I’ve been just burying it away,” Jackson continued. “I took my eye off the ball. I stopped doing what I needed to do to keep myself on the path of my personal integrity. I could blame it on Covid. I could blame it on the state of the world. Mass shootings. A nation divided. The death of my co-star. But the truth is, I thought I had it all handled. I thought ‘I got this.’ But I don’t.”

“I am a work in progress. Always,” he ended. “Thank you to my support system. Thank you to @jamieleecurtis and so many others who have been there for me. It means everything to me. If you are out there struggling, you are not alone and there is a solution. I love you. And I love myself today and that feels really good to say. #progressnotperfection.”

On Tuesday, the star returned to Instagram to say thank you to those wishing him well.

“I’ve always kind of prided myself on being a lone wolf, somebody who doesn’t really need anybody, I can do it on my own,” the father of two continued. “But as I get older I realize it doesn’t really serve me in a lot of ways, and in my sobriety it definitely doesn’t serve me because I need people and I need support.”

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Cheyenne Jackson

Back in 2014, Jackson spoke toNBC New Yorkabout his battle with addiction, calling himself a “high-functioning alcoholic.”

“Practically nobody knew, not even my parents,” he said at the time. “I always showed up, I knew my lines, I looked okay. [But] I always felt like I was missing out. That’s why I drank and did drugs. I always felt like there was a party I hadn’t been to, or ‘Oh, where is everybody going now.’ "

This was especially hard for the out actor “in the gay community,” Jackson said, “where most of our interactions involve bars and parties.”

When he decided to get sober, Jackson said he struggled with the idea of giving up that aspect of his social life.

“I thought, ‘Now my social life is over so what am I going to do?’ But I realized, I’m going to be more fun because I’ll do the same stuff but I’ll remember it. … I’ve been to every party, met everybody I wanted to meet and done everything I wanted to do. It’s time to just grow up and be accountable and have some integrity.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, please contact the SAMHSA substance abuse helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.

source: people.com